DO you ever have those moments where you step outside of yourself, just for a second, and you are suddenly aware of all the things that made life worth living, that for some reason you stopped doing? I've been having those moments lately. A lot. I've given up so much, and with a reason really. I could say it was because of adding children to the family, or death, or pets or gaining and losing a house, or school, but seriously? Death didn't wave afinger at me and say 'Hey You! put the god-dang hoop down!' The Foreclosure Faerie didn't whisper in my ear 'i'm sorry, but your birth junkie midwife/doulaing is going to have to take a back seat to ME right now.' Nope. I did that all on my own. Just sometimes, we tend to let life get in the way of, well, living. So- now that i've stepped outside of myself, for the umpteenth thousandth time and realized how I have stopped living, its about time i've started up again.
Wish me luck. The proverbial horse is right there, but my knees are a little sore from falling off so many times.