Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A rant on Body Image

I *HATE* that I care. Really, I do. My confindence has always been on the low side, but it has ebbed and flowed over time. I've had my moments where I new I was one hot mama. I've had my moments where I new there was no way I was leaving the house lest I frighten little children with my hideousness. I've tried to lose weight, even though really, its not my weight that bothers me, but my shape. So no matter how thin I get, I still have the same stupid shape. Ugh. I remember as a young teen putting myself on an 600 calorie a day diet. I was 13, 5'7 and weighed about 120 lbs. Not fat at all, but I had thick legs and a ghetto booty for days and it STILL didn't go anywhere. When I see women who are curvy like me, I get jealous because some how they 'wear it better'. I get angry when people say to me "wow, you have two kids!!?! You look great!" Because my kids are adopted, sooooo WTF is that supposed to mean, huh?
Every day is a constant battle with be in the middle, trying to accept myself the way I am. I really don't want to lose weight. I just want to be happy with me. For me, a feminine fat gal with confidence in herself because she knows she's smart and funny and looks good is THE SEXIEST THING ON THE PLANET. I love me some big women!!!So- what I should work on is acceptence, being happy with myself and do what I want to do and life my life the way I want to. But you know what? Its so much easier to whine about it and eat half a cake...


  1. I like you! I hope you can make it up to hoop with us in the mountains soon... bring the boys :)

  2. Haha, thanks! You seem like a pretty groovy chic too! I will mos def try to get up there in the coming weeks!!!